Checklist

okies..now im getting stressed out..even tho i got my mum to help me..below are my self check list-apart having the checklist in my phone..so might as well i put it here too..

1. Baju - Sent to tailor(Waiting to be ready in 2 month)
2. Hantaran :
    a. Need to buy chocolateDONE!!
   
3. Caterer Canopy& - Confirmed with D'Kashmiri .DONE!!
4. MUA - Still surveying DONE!!!!!  PAID
5. OP - Cousinku..best price please....=p DONE
6. Mini Dais - mum's settle it for me..just have pay her the rest..
7. Invitation Card - DIY..fyi I've found a website that offer this printable kits card..Awesome....All i need to do is just find the right papar..then voila..   DONE!!!..
**Design finalize. DONE DEAL!!!!
8. Sticker for door gift- Finalizing design  Went with sticker instead.  DONE ALSO
**Maybe change to tag i nstead...
9. Isi untuk door gift.. Done
**Maybe change jugak...=,(

Sourced: Google - iced gem biscuit..sweetttt

phewww

..ade ke?..so yes..we've decided to get hitch..well actually he proposed to me 3 years ago when at that time we're just started going out ..i still remember that we're on our 3rd date..and he said..he wanted to marry me ..and I thought he was kidding..

so now..the joke is on me..all this time he was never joke..till he bought me that ring....and yes there were countless discussion and we knew that someday we'll be marrying each other but for me I never tot that it will be soon..

but it's happening...and i have to catch up..fast!!!

Sneak peak

so yes..that's the base color of my baju tunang..dusty pinkish & teal patch lace..i opt for a simple kurung modern so that it will be wearable next time..tak nak membazir..at first my mum suggested to take the beaded lace kindda type..but i said to her that..tak nak lah meriah2 sgt....kalo kawin nanti tak pe la..

so yes..that's it..sent it to the tailor just now..and hopefully to see it back in june...as off now..just hoping for the best..

note: my mom and I have been with the same tailor when we were in Ipoh..and that was about 10 years ago..and till now we still remain with her..so far  both of us never encounter any mishap or ketidakpuashatian..for me she's good with her beads work..tak de lah mengarut2 sgt..i prefer it that way..very subtle yet exclusive workmanship..plus the price is also reasonable comparing to KL..so yeah..that's my opinion of her..in case anybody wondering it's Shan lyn Boutique-Ipoh.

2012

it's been a while since i've update in here..although already pass 2 month since the year 2012..n reaching to the 3rd month of it..there's a lot of thing that had happened and it made me realize that time pass so fast and yet i've nothing to achieve yet.

new year resolution..always had one but never really think that it's a big fuss and i dont think that i ever try to get it done..maybe once when i was young..i know that i'm still young at the moment but why do i always think that i'm settled. I dont want to be a settled person..im not this kind of a person..

before this im the kind of person who wanted to be on top..wanted to be the best...but now..i just feel to be settled..and it made me mad for thinking that i wanted to do a lot of things but when i rationalize it too much...i've settled..

i've become a boring person..introvert and afraid..always thinking that i have to be dependable..unable to be independent..why...is it because i rely to much to this person and it make me settled.

not that i'm not trying to change myself..i always do..but is it because i never had a good support system and it turn me down again and again.....why...i always feel sad..always cautious..always feel insecure..i hated the way i feel right now...i remember that i used to be fun..at least that's what i feel about myself..always look up to myself..always have the confident in me and never needed anyone to tell me that im beautiful to be okay...

but now...im depressed..unable to say it out loud..keeping it to myself make it even worst...i know that i'll never be the same person like before..but at least gimme the strength to fight each day and at least put a fake smile just to please others or better yet stop pretending and just be myself...

why....


oh crap..i hate my life and the way im rambling.......stop being such a pathetic person..

anyways...how do you know that you've found the right person to be with and to spend the rest of your life with...how can you be so sure that you'll be together forever with this guy but deep down inside you know that one day he may die...or leave u..

credits to: http://www.theloveliestday.com/2011/05/carla-stelios-whimsical-wedding.html

i know that all of the above are dumb fucking questions and realistically stupid....i need answers to it..

am i being unappreciated bitch..maybe I am...cuz this is what happen when u keep to much to your self and never let anyone into u...but then again..there's always a need to tell but what's the point..

one thing lead to another but..there's a lot of negativity in me.which is not good..anyhow..i always hate my life..i never feel good in anything..it's just me..not even blaming other for what happened to me..it's just me..in my messed up mind..

please give me a sign...i hate my life right now..see i told you how messed up i am now..even when reading back the whole post made me thinking how messed up my mind is..always jumping to another problem without having the need to solve one....

dah la..i give up..i'll be more positive in the next post...this is just my pms talking..so layan je la..dont even bother to take it seriously..

           credits tohttp://lisaholtzmancalligraphy.blogspot.com/

countdown begin

Sedar tak sedar it has been 1 week I've been wearing this PB..and...my waist lost 3cm already..small amount for me to be proud but still at least I've seen the result...anxiously waiting for more results in the future..

till then~..

my love-hate relationship

i just thought..why not i start fresh..end of year is coming soon..so might as well i start over again..

those who know me knew my love-hate relationship with my weight..but this time around my weight flaunt like hell..tak de insurance coverage punyer this time...so many things i took but it wont last long..so this is kindda of other option that i got after much pursuing my Puan Sri and her approval of coz to purchase this corset by Premium Beautiful..

So then I tot..y not i capture it so that i can monitor my progress whilst sharing with others..

And the journey goes...received the item yesterday night and wear it only for 3 hours..as first i tot..well this might be like the others but I turn out to be wrong..( or maybe it changes my psychology)..good news for me thou just only for that few hours, it help me to clear out the rubbish inside my perut easily (not that i'm having problem on that part..just that it smooths out easily..hahahha)..

So I tot..maybe jugak because I have teh tarik kurang manis last night..hahahhaa..then again..today..I wore it to office..the whole day...took my breakfast on my way to the office..then at 10am..I already mengigil kelaparan...I was like..takkan kot..takkan pakai mende nie kasi aku lapar..tak kurus ah cam nie..so I tot maybe I minum coffee kot..but tak de pun seblom nie...then I took my lunch around 12-1 something..half an hour later..gile aku mengigil lapar balik...

I was like..serious shit takkan ashik lapar je..so I consult la my biz partner(..bole ke panggil cam nie..hahaha)..ye la..was curious why aku lapar je..nyhow..she said might be cuz of the fat burning process making me cepat lapar...then balik keje tadi 1 noticeble thing is that my cellulite nampak lesser...(facts: i do have cellulite..i'm fat..ok..)..

ok..that's about it for today my progress..hoping to see more soon..

years to come

It's whole new year again..n nothing to brag about..i hate new year apart from being a year older...new year resolution..none..except on continuing last year wishlist..

left alone by myself during new year...thanks a lot for making my life miserable..i hate u...

not that i even care on celebrating it..it's just the feeling of loneliness that i hate..not that i didn't try to do anything on that day..in which i haven't actually....i did nothing except for cooking myself dinner..n followed by series of movies to which i fall asleep to it....stupid boring me...

and the day of the new year..which is like yesterday didn't even sparks my life..not even a tiny weeny bits...it's just making my life more and more miserable..it's like I don't want to believe in anything and anybody..people just make me crazy....i wish u could just leave me alone and never even bother about me..as if i'm never born..i'll be glad if u treat me that way..so that u wont make my life more miserable than it is now..don't even pretend that u care cause i know that u never did....n how i wish u never did..u have some other child to think about..so leave me alone and never ever bother about me..i hate u..i hate u for bringing me to life..i wish i was never born..then u'll live happily ever after..

u'll never blessed me with anything so is there any other reason why i should be living now...none..no reason whatsoever.. i will not pretend anymore..if you are not happy with what i am today..just leave me alone..disgrace me if u want..i don't care..go find another good daughter for all I care..cause i just don't freaking care anymore...u make my life freaking miserable..and don't be sorry if u don't see me long enough in this world..u'll be glad about it..and please go and thank god for banishing me from your life..cause that will be my wish for this year..

happy new year..n God bless u...